


Translation Issues

by grayorca, YearwalktheWorld



Series: Skynet: 900 [14]
Category: Detroit: Become Human (Video Game)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Alternate Universe - Wings, Fluff, Gen, Humor, Platonic Relationships, Upgraded Connor | RK900 Has a Different Name
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-03-22
Updated: 2019-04-24
Packaged: 2019-11-27 23:10:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 10
Words: 11,753
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/18200261
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/grayorca/pseuds/grayorca, https://archiveofourown.org/users/YearwalktheWorld/pseuds/YearwalktheWorld
Summary: Wings AU. Among other features, the RK900 model speaks whale-What?





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Crack treated seriously or seriously treated crack. You decide. This is just an excuse for us to be cute, aside from all the main events of this series.
> 
> Spiritual sequel to _Facsimile_. Assume it went down the same in this universe.
> 
> #whocares

Someone at CyberLife had clearly spent too much time reading _Doctor Dolittle_ as a kid _._ And Gavin Reed, on a very beyond-private frequency, hoped it was not the fanciful whim of one Elijah Kamski that made this farce a reality. Somehow, it was thought being able to translate android animal speak in real time was a very necessary feature to incorporate in the RK900 model.

Worse yet, someone had approved the money to make it happen.

Because here he was, standing back with crappy zoo coffee in hand, staring as his partner actually _listened_ to the complaints of this exhibit’s newest addition. Noah didn’t even have the presence of mind to look in any way surprised he was built with this in mind. Apparently, he was too busy listening/translating to mind.

His LED had been spinning yellow for at least five minutes.

Fucking hell. Did the fish really think he was comprehending what was being ‘squeaked’?

“...Okay, what the fuck, Noah?” Gavin said finally, getting sick of just standing there and watching this absurd exchange go on. “Just what's the thing sayin’? How the hell does this even work?”

Knowing he wasn’t actually in the market for a full-length explanation, the android paused anew. His idiot light went blue, and the whale stopped chirping. Both of them seemed to regard him with a mutual look of sullen annoyance before Noah tapped the glass with a fingertip.

Taking its cue, the artificial cetacean wheeled around to swim away.

“That’s three questions, Detective. Which would you have me answer first?”

“Haha, smartass. Tell me what it said, if you're gonna be sulky about it.” Crossing his arms, one hand still gripping the coffee, Gavin rolled his eyes at him. The android could definitely have an attitude when he wanted to.

But then, working with the likes of him, was it any surprise Noah’s own persona emulations took after his behavior?

“It didn’t say anything,” Noah stressed, folding his arms, sparing the viewing area one slit-eyed glare. “Most of that was random chatter, intended to mimic the natural vocalizations of _Orcinus orca._ That doesn’t translate into full English sentences the way an interpretation program might convert it.”

“...Okay, you better not be saying you speak fuckin’ orca, or you translate that crap. What kinda Dory shit is this?” Maybe he would get the reference, maybe he wouldn't - but it was immediately what Gavin thought of, that fucking fish trying to speak whale.

Noah scoffed, tapping a finger against his elbow. “No, Detective. I don’t speak it. I can only glean impressions.” From the arch tone of his voice, the android wasn’t liking what he was hearing.

“So… I dunno how many ways you want me to say it, man. What did you _glean,_ then?”

“It isn’t happy with the others.” Not mincing words, or catering to the idea this newest model was somehow worthy of the female pronouns intended by its designers, Noah rapped the glass again. Within seconds, the black-and-white animatronic zoomed back over. “Which is why it keeps biting them.”

“What? Really?” Gavin rolled his eyes, but kept his sarcasm at that much. No reason to piss Noah off when he was apparently the only one who could communicate - or, at least, understand - the android orca. “Okay, do you know just what's got it actin’ like this?”

“I reviewed its service logs. There were apparently some difficulties in putting it on the same wavelength as its original class is.”

_Eeee! Ee-chk-chk-chk._

The glare eased up. Noah spared the orca a thoughtful glance before adding, “Exactly. It’s vocal repertoire isn’t based on the same subroutine as the ‘adults’.”

Nose pressed into the glass, their ‘suspect’ poked its tongue out, rotating around in place to float upside-down.

“And they needed us to come out and figure their shit out,” Gavin muttered, watching the small orca do whatever the fuck it was doing. Not like he was exactly an expert in any animals behavior but Colby’s. “Okay, so they can't talk the same language, or somethin’. What can we do about that?”

“Nothing that involves getting close to the water’s edge,” Noah clarified, eyebrow raised. “I was told what happened when my predecessors were allowed backstage. One model demonstrated a tendency to grab and pull. If this one is in any way the same - ”

_Eeep. Ee-weep._

Righting itself, the orca pushed off the acrylic window, drifting backwards, spinning lazily around again as if it were attempting to waltz.

Noah’s frown only broadened. “Stop that. You’re not going to charm us into breaking the rules.”

“Us two? Breakin’ rules? You got the wrong people.” Directing the words at the twirling orca, even knowing it couldn't understand him, it didn't stop the sarcastic words from falling out of Gavin's mouth. “So if we can't get close, the fuck can we do?”

The LED blinked yellow. Setting a hand on the glass, skin rippling away to bare plastic, Noah tapped it a third time.

Responding to the nonverbal cue, the orca wheeled around, zeroing in on the raised hand. Hovering parallel to the window, it drew close, like a space shuttle lining up to dock with its launcher.

“We’ll see if a remotely-applied patch does the trick. If not, there are two others I can install.”

Even as he spoke, the orca’s own LED - around the size of a metal washer - pulsed yellow to match.

“That’s one significant improvement the OO150 has over its predecessors. Even if it was built smaller.”

“It's supposed to look like a fuckin’ baby orca, I thought. Make it more cute, or some shit.” Shrugging, Gavin kept his eye on it, almost surprised at how close the machination came to the glass. But then again, it was an android, not a real orca. “Okay, work done, then? Easiest case ever?”

“Not exactly. We won’t know if this first update was successful until we run a test.”

Of course. They couldn’t have it _that_ easy. Anything that cost as much as these finned hunks of plastic needed to be perfected, according to some behind-closed-doors study that decided what perfection was.

Gavin was almost reluctant to ask what Noah meant by test.


	2. Chapter 2

As it happened, he didn’t need to.

One of the older, full-sized animatronics was cued to enter the pool. A submerged iron gate connecting the two tanks was lowered. Spotting the only two observers at the window, it promptly glided over, clicking and blowing a stream of bubbles for effect.

The OO150 promptly ducked and swam away.

Scoffing, Gavin crossed his arms again as he watched the new orca drift to a stop. “Uh… can you, like, make them interact or somethin’, Noah?”

“No more than I can make you and Nicholas get along,” the android quipped. He spared the newcomer an assessing look, positioning a fingertip on the glass, which it promptly nudged at. “That was only the initial reaction. Give them a minute.”

“A minute. We're not fuckin’ android orcas, though,” Gavin pointed out, rolling his eyes at the mention of the other android. “Fine, fine. God, this is gonna take forever, just so this fuckin’ zoo gets their perfect attraction…”

“You can always go wait in the cafeteria if you find it so unbearable, Detective.”

“No, I'll wait…” Gavin muttered, watching the two orcas behind the glass with renewed interest. Unlike most of his colleagues, or even other kids when he was a child, he had never found himself in a zoo, featuring real or android animals. “...Ain't ever seen one. Or - been in a zoo. Fuckin’ weird.”

And by default, anything he didn’t know firsthand was subject to a hostile reaction.

Raising an eyebrow, Noah trailed his fingertip along the glass. The orca’s nose (or rostrum, to be technical) followed as if it were attracted by a magnet. “Another ‘normal’ experience sorely lacking in your upbringing?”

“Sure, if you wanna fuckin’ call it that. But zoo's seem sorta fucking strange anyways, who cares about that.” Watching a bunch of animals traipse around some tiny enclosure for a day, that didn't seem like his type of fun. “So. Not to be annoying, but the fuck is happenin’? They gonna talk, or?”

And, yes, Gavin knew prefacing anything with ‘not to be’ meant whatever followed would automatically be that.

Noah knew it was just par for the course with him, thankfully. Sparing their subject a look, he used his opposite hand to gesture - a very overt, pointing, go-get-it kind of motion.

Whistling, a muffled _eeee_ leaving another trail of bubbles, the cyberceta veered off and circled toward the bottom of the tank, where the smaller model huddled. Made watertight, they did not need to breathe except for aesthetic purposes - same as their terrestrial counterparts.

“CyberLife has revitalized the concept in an effort to rekindle public interest in natural conservation.” Aware of how he sounded like he was spouting rhetoric, Noah scoffed. “What little there is left to, that is.”

The disdain in his voice was clear. He might not fit the definition of a treehugger, but anything alive that wasn’t inherently human tended to interest him. Gavin could count himself lucky he didn’t have to sit through constant National Geographic reruns in his spare time.

But it did mean suffering the occasional Discovery special on species since gone extinct.

“Get us actually caring about real animals with android models of ones we’ve already killed off. Sounds like something us dumbass humans would definitely need.”

“Better late than never, as they say?”

“Somethin’ tells me all those species that were killed off really don't care that we're tryin’ to pay homage now.” Gavin scoffed again. Just how many species had been wiped out since he was born, really? Too many to name. “Whatever. Just weird shit, to me.”

The OO150 evidently agreed. With a shrill squeal that pierced the water like a needle, it abruptly swam a wide circle, avoiding the older model as much as it was able. Breathing through the surface for a short breath, it splashed down and stroked back over to hover beside the two investigators. A screen of bubbles and frothy afterwash temporarily hid it from view.

“Update one, test negative,” Noah intoned, as anyone watching could have seen plainly enough for themselves. His stoic posture contrasted completely (and deliberately) with the agitated splashing. “Accounting for known variables, we’re looking at one negative result out of nine possibilities.”

He saved the good news for last, or was it just the reverse?

“Oh my _fuck_ , dude. Now, what the hell happens if none of these work?” Because, this wasn't exactly something Gavin felt like following up on, that was for sure. Didn't they have actual crime-related cases to get to, rather than have Noah play translator for some android orcas?

Yes. But they could only address one at a time.

“The OO150 unit will be removed and decommissioned. But it was rather expensive to build, per the zoo’s commission, as were its predecessors. CyberLife would rather not scrap it.”

“So they sent us.” Gavin repeated, not even being able to stop himself from sounding as aggravated as he was. “This better not take any longer, fucking hell…”

From his tone of voice, the man would sooner spend his time actually filling out paperwork compared to this. Or - in keeping with the day - rescuing a cat that climbed too far up a tree. His feline bias would show itself in spades.

“The cafeteria remains an option.”

“Nah. Whatever the fuck is gonna happen, least it's more interesting than havin’ to choke down another fuckin’ one of those coffees.” Smirking at him, Gavin crossed his arms. “And the fact you speak whale just gets me every time.”

Deadpanning look in full effect, Noah spared that a short eyeroll. There wasn’t much point in refuting it. “So you’ve gone from finding it bemusing to _a_ musing in less than an hour. We’ve made some progress, then.”

Hovering beside the glass, flippers waving anxiously, the OO150 pressed its rostrum into the thick seam between two acrylic panes, whining. It’s LED flickered between gold and crimson, both colors contrasting sharply with its black skin.

“For instance, loosely translated, that noise is closest to the English word ‘scary’.” Pause. “Again, it doesn’t convey itself as full sentences.”

“ _Scary_. Pfft, this shit is scary? C'mon, you can do it.” Gavin encouraged the android orca sarcastically, clapping his hands twice. “Go talk to her, she ain't gonna fuckin’ eat you.”

The larger model still hovered at the far end of the pool, evidently watching, but unwilling to chance getting closer for the moment.

Tilting its head in the direction of Reed’s voice, the OO150 only whined again, then dragged its face along the glass, akin to a cat laying claim to a certain person or piece of furniture.

“Encouragement doesn’t help them suddenly speak the same dialect, Detective.” Queuing up the next data patch, Noah set a splayed palm against the window, directly over the wide, blue eye. “You should know as much, from firsthand experience.”

It was true - human and android didn’t always coincide. Not all humans were created equal. Why should artificial animals be any more flawless?

“Hey, I thought we fuckin’ learned to play nice.” Gavin grumbled, immediately taking it as some sort of attack against his own social skills. It was, in part, but at the same time, nevertheless true. “If _I_ can do that, a fuckin’ fake whale should be able.”

“Which is why you need to have patience,” Noah concluded. The update application finished off with a high _beep_ , and a new flurry of bubbles leeched out of said whale’s mouth. “I can’t practice it _for_ you.”

CyberLife had pioneered many technologies.

But they still hadn’t nailed vicariousness.

What a shame.


	3. Chapter 3

What was once a weightless and streamlined machine was reduced to several hundred pounds worth of clunky plastimetal, fiberglass, and circuitry with precisely the wrong jump at the wrong time.

Worst of all?

The damn thing put itself on the ledge deliberately, and was now refusing to budge.

Second to worst - Noah was being absolutely no help in trying to put it back where it belonged.

Ergo, who else should the duty fall to?

——-

Fucking unfair - that's what this was. He wasn't the one who could goddamn _talk_ to the orca, so why was he the one doing this?

This, specified as being the one currently pressed up against it, heels dug into the (slippery excuse for) ground as he pushed against the android that was supposed to be in water, which for some reason had decided to purposefully beach itself, the bastard.

Gavin didn't even like the feeling of it, wet and rubbery and way more realistic than he would ever want. Sure, he may not have ever gone to a zoo, but he was also pretty fucking sure he was a lot closer to the animals _now_ than any other kid had ever gotten in his time.

Yet another job he never saw being a policeman could possibly land him in.

Stalling for a moment with a groan, Gavin glared back at Noah, as furiously as he could while half-heartedly pushing against the android orca. His ‘partner’ had kept a six foot berth from the scene a few minutes too long. “Fuckin’ - don't just stand there, you asshole!”

Expression once decidedly blank, Noah only raised an eyebrow and frowned, as if he had been stirred out of a trance. The steady blinking of his LED froze as a solid blue ring. “I’m not.”

“No?”

“No. While you’ve been busy fighting, I’ve been trying to convince it to go back. The frequency being used is well above your range of hearing, Detective.”

Throwing in its two cents, the cyberceta gave a raspy blow from the hole at the top of its head. This close, it sounded like the dry blow of a truck’s air brakes going off.

“Well, that shit isn't working, huh?” Gavin couldn't help but let out a hiss, momentarily stumbling back from the orca in surprise at the motion, before going back to it with more vigor. This infernal android would be in the water again, whether it fucking liked it or not. “Here's - a crazy idea - maybe you push, _and_ talk to it? Or that too much for you to do at - once?”

Jaw laid flat against the concrete, the OO150 blew again and leaned back against the hands pressing into its ebony skin. Eyes blinking owlishly, it rolled like a stubborn tree trunk that just wouldn’t budge and go the other way. One flipper braced like a doorjamb, combined with its weight, gave it a most unfair advantage.

Noah was not a heavy duty kind of android. Would his assistance make any difference?

“Updates two and three, negative,” Noah declared, even as the pool’s only other occupant - the OO100 - coasted by, surfacing to bare its dorsal fin like a lurking shark. “They’re still not on the same freq. It’ll likely refuse to get back in until they are.”

“Fine, _fine!_ ” Giving up for the moment, Gavin backed up with a huff, arms crossed as he glared at the android. “Do your shit with it, then. Stubborn fucker.”

Apparently taking offense at his tone, their discontent subject whistled, squirmed, and clacked it’s teeth together. Stubborn or not, hopefully the not-fish wasn’t inclined to bite when it got moody.

“Oh, and fuck you, too. Least I'm not the one too fuckin’ scared to be in my fuckin’ habitat.” Gavin pointed a finger at it, before turning to glare at Noah again. “This is officially the worst case we've been assigned, ever.”

Unmoved by his declaration, the RK900 only feigned scratching at an ear in thought, tucking loose strands of hair behind it. “Don’t you think you might be exaggerating? There are worse ways to spend an afternoon.”

“Me? Over-exaggerate? Who would have thought?” Rolling his eyes, Gavin almost thought to give the shoving idea one more fruitless try, before giving up on it. Noah was right - the thing wasn't moving anywhere it didn't want to. “Sure, there probably are, but this is takin’ the cake right now.”

“...Who said there was cake involved?”

“I… holy fuck, dude.” Trailing off, Gavin gaped at him for a minute, before trying to conceal the half smirk he knew was starting to form on his face. “Christ. It's an expression, ya moron. I mean, this is the most borin’ shit in the whole world for me right now.”

Maybe once upon a time it would have been a wild, unique experience. But at the moment, faced with a faulty, irregular machine of an animal CyberLife couldn’t be bothered to troubleshoot before shipping out, it was only proving more and more exasperating.

Going still for the moment, the OO150 faked a few gasping breaths. The plunge-like flap of its blowhole opened and closed like a bad valve.

Noah paid the noise a sideways look - as close to open concern as he might yet admit to. “Boring as it may be to you, it’s a job that needs finishing.”

“Fine. You gonna do the next one, then? I don't fuckin’ like the sound of it tryin’ to ‘breathe’ up here.”

False or not, the behavior didn’t sound too healthy. And wasn’t it bad for whales to stay beached? Their own body weight could slowly suffocate them. Did these facsimiles have the same issue?

At that, probably thinking along the same lines, Noah stepped forward to kneel down beside the orca’s head. It’s blue eye immediately quirked backward to look at him. The LED lit up bright yellow, and its breathing cycle halted.

Slowly, making no hostile move whatsoever, he reached up to stroke what could be reached - over its nose, across its sloping face. The semi-dry skin flickered and went blotchy, almost ash gray, under the touch.

Timidly, it gave a little _eee_ and tried to turn its head away. The LED started spinning at a faster clip. Another update commenced it’s upload.

“CyberLife’s animatronics don’t self-destruct under extreme stress… normally. This one may actually be trying to, if it stays stranded long enough.”

Stranded. He said it like the words were imposing an undue death sentence. Were they supposed to feel bad, or even that worried? The fish put itself here. All because it was a little freaked out to find it didn’t speak the same language.

Gritting his teeth, Gavin almost thought to flip the fucking robot fish off, for all the trouble it was giving them. Instead he glared at it, as harshly as he could. “If this fuckin’ thing kills itself over this, I swear to fuck I'm never goin’ to another zoo, ever again. Get back in the water, moron.”

Which, yeah, was pretty harsh, even for him. But what was he supposed to say - admit that gave him a bit of a stop, some form of concern for something like this? No fucking way.

Update complete, the OO150 blinked. It stirred as if shaking off a sudden chill, before lopsidedly squirming back toward the edge of the platform. Pausing to regard the lapping saltwater, chin hanging close enough to touch it, it gave another dispirited _whew_ from its blowhole.

Still knelt in a crouch, wingtips dragging on the wet concrete, Noah frowned. The LED gave another wink. “She says she will, provided you’re less mean about it.”

“What the - less mean?” Scoffing, Gavin crossed his arms again. Fuck, could this get any stupider than it had just become? Him, be nicer to a fucking fake fish? This day was only getting more exasperating. “...Fine. _Please_ , get back in the water.”

Puffing air in what sounded like a sigh, it shuffled sideways again, tilting to roll off the platform with a smooth, unexciting splash. It sank beneath the froth and didn’t resurface.

As it failed to reappear, Noah spared him a tired, almost-annoyed glance. “Happy now?”

“Pfft. Very.”


	4. Chapter 4

“This is how they get fed? Thirium gummi fish?”

In answer to this outrage, the OO150 promptly jumped up out of the water to bite at the offered treat.

“I take it back.  _ This _ is the most goddamn ridiculous thing that’s happened yet,” Gavin declared, cringing away from the water’s edge, as if not wanting to get splashed. “Even fuckin’ tops it hoppin’ up on here.” 

“Don’t say that too loudly. You might give it the wrong idea.”

Teeth sunk into the gelatinous fish shape, their ‘suspect’ gave it a noisy chomp, splashing the water to a froth in the process. Like any baby, it went about eating as messily as possible. Chewing and worrying at it like a dog with a rawhide bone, the once-solid shape was quickly reduced to navy-blue chunks floating on the surface.

With a steel bucket full of waiting morsels sitting by his feet, Noah paid the exciting sight only a bemused blink. “So, it wasn’t so much eaten as… destroyed.”

“Fuckin’ messy baby. Now, just to warn you, I ain't about to talk about cake, N. This nonsense takes the cake for weirdest android shit ever, no joke.” Rolling his eyes instead at Noah, Gavin couldn’t help teasing him. Seriously, how many human phrases did the dude not know? Evidently not enough, thus his education would have to continue. “Okay, can they talk now? Or - fuckin’ bond over eatin’? Always does the trick with humans.” 

As yet, the scene before them hadn’t changed. The OO100 still kept a respectable distance, even as its smaller counterpart continued to shy away. Their vocalizations had virtually stopped, the only sign of agitation evident in how violently the OO150 shredded its first handout of ‘fish’.

Besides that, neither seemed ready to try and pick up the conversation just yet.

Balancing a blue hunk of thirium gel atop its head, the OO150 spyhopped to toss it back into the ledge. With a wet  _ splat _ it landed beside Noah’s shoe.

“Hmm. It’s more inclined to try sharing with me, seemingly.”

“...Don't fuckin’ take a bite out of that.” Even if he was pretty sure that wasn't about to happen, Gavin gave the warning anyways. Who the fuck knew just what lengths Noah would go to for this case? “I’m serious. We ain't - we don't need any shit. Give it to the other one.” 

It would have been better, had he not said anything.

Using only his fingertips, the android pried an even-smaller chunk off the offered glob of gel. The blue dye instantly rubbed off onto his fingertips. With only a brief glance at it, scanning the substance’s composition for anything harmful, Noah popped it into his mouth as casually as one would a piece of gum.

Immediately the OO150 gave a gleeful whistle, nosing up against the ledge’s edge, mouth open.

_ Now me, give me the rest, _ it seemed to say.

“Oh, my  _ fucking -  _ Jesus, Noah!” Recoiling instantly at the sight, Gavin made his disgust known. Right after he said not to, of course this asshole decides he's gonna eat it. “Goddammit, you fuckin’ psycho. Give the fish back its food, now.”

As directed, the android promptly tossed the rest into the orca’s waiting mouth.

Squeaking, it scarfed the tidbit down.

“You’re so easily perturbed, Detective. Is it that unsettling?”

“I'm not  _ easily  _ perturbed! I just don't like - ugh. I know it ain't tastin’ like fish, but I can't help but imagine fuckin’... cold fish jelly.” Gavin almost let himself twitch with dismay at the thought of what that would taste like to him - horrible, or course. “Nasty. And then you go and swap germs with it.” 

With a scoff that might have been a repressed snicker, Noah reached into the bucket. Grasping a fresh ‘fish’ by its tail, he lifted it up for display. “It’s essentially a gummi candy. You said so yourself. And my fuel systems can easily filtrate whatever impurities it may have absorbed.”

Still lingering at the edge, the OO150 gave another eager chomp on the air between it and the fish, whistling impatiently for more. Tiny points of teeth not yet emerged stuck up from its pink gums.

“Doesn't mean you should eat it! Isn't Hank always tellin’ his fuckin’ strays not to stick shit in their mouths?” Crossing his arms with a scoff, Gavin thought on it. Really, why did CyberLife ever decide the mouth was the place for such sensors? (God help him if it was somehow input from Elijah which led to it all along.) “Do I need to start tellin’ you the same?” 

At that Noah’s expression seemed to flatline - not disappointment, or frustration, but nevertheless negative. “If it benefits a given investigation, the best I can do is advise you to look away next time.”

“Urgh, fine. …They gonna talk now, by the way? Almost fuckin’ forgot that's what we were here for, and not to feed the thing.”

Setting the fish back down, to the cyberceta’s visible disappointment, Noah placed his free hand on the orca’s rostrum. The false skin on both sides of the contact point receded.

“It’s power levels are still low. Once there’s been time enough for it to eat, I’ll prompt another interaction test.”

Of course. The baby was tearing up its food because it was frustrated  _ and _ tired. How familiar.

“...How well did you sleep last night, Detective?”

“Fuckin’  _ haha,  _ Noah. I slept fine, I ain't a baby.” Okay, so maybe lacking some hours of sleep at night was one of the many, many reasons Gavin was as salty and bitchy as he was, but that didn't mean he was acting like this fucking animatronic. He wasn’t tearing up empty coffee cups to fling the shreds at anyone passing by. “Stop bein’ sarcastic.” 

“I wasn’t.” Without giving him pause to retort, Noah removed his hand and dropped the gel into the orca’s mouth. Chirping eagerly, it tore the fish-shaped morsel clean in half. “Next you get the chance, you should take time to rest. Those bags under your eyes are only looking darker.”

“Like you could tell.” Which he obviously could, given his comments. But how was he supposed to get any sleep, being dragged along to inane cases like these? It was enough to lose sleep over for strangeness reasons alone. “Feed your fish.”

_ Eee! _

Pulling a face to match the exasperated whistle, Noah shook his head. “She’s not a fish.”

“...‘She’?”

“The it pronouns don’t seem to endear us any. Perhaps we ought to try… feminization?”

“Ugh… fuck, fine. Feed your fuckin’  _ girl  _ fish.” 


	5. Chapter 5

He wasn’t sure how swimming was supposed to work when you were dressed for it. Was fate that merciless it decided he had to learn today, wearing the full ensemble of hoodie, jeans, and shoes? It was bad enough there were virtually no shallow ledges to this pool. And even worse there were no convenient handholds within reach to pull oneself out once they were in the water.

Thus, upon resurfacing, Gavin Reed was very much not a happy camper.

“Fuck, _fuck -_ Noah! You - I can't fuckin’ swim, don't just _stand_ there!” Flailing around, with obviously no idea of what to do besides keep his head above water, Gavin shouted at him. “Fuckin’ help me!”

Now there was a pretty overt order.

If it wasn’t already subterfuged by the fact Noah had ‘accidentally’ put him there…

——-

_Five minutes earlier_

——-

Given a sizable helping of thirium gel, the OO150 seemed to grow more placid and therefore compliant. Chin resting on the concrete, it (or she, rather) floated at the surface like a plank of wood, all eight feet of streamlined frame stretched out. The stress levels, once piqued at a constant eighty-three percent, were finally starting to wane. All the animatronic seemed to beg for in return was a series of gentle scratches over its face and jaw.

Then Gavin’s patience ran out one too many times:

“Fuck, dude. We gonna sit here and watch it - oh, sorry, _her -_ do this all day? Come _on_. Don't we have other actual fuckin’ cases to do?”

In truth, they did. But the common denominator among them was how stymied each had become, either because of a lack of evidence or witnesses vanishing to the winds or the court system moving like a proverbial sloth.

Normally, Noah would be inclined to agree. In contrast, this problem was one that had a solution, somewhere in front of them. He was still mired in the process of finding it, even if his partner wasn’t.

The OO150 was finally becoming somewhat cooperative, almost purring with clicks of contentment. Why waste a lead they could now had? Small wonder why she had been misbehaving so much before. All she wanted was a little ‘food’ and attention.

“What’s the longest you ever let a suspect stew in the interrogation room, Detective?”

“Oh my - okay, there's a difference between those two things, and you know it. I haven't ever fuckin’ fed or pet a suspect, Noah.” Glaring at him, and then the orca, Gavin let out a scoff of disbelief. “And I wouldn't exactly say she's a fuckin’ suspect, when all we need is for her and the other one to get along.”

Maybe he had phrased that incorrectly.

“It’s an applicable term, for the moment. Did you ever _cater_ to a suspect if you thought it might progress the investigation?” Tracing a fingertip along the closed line of the animal’s mouth, scratching at its lip, he was rewarded with a muffled gurgle of approval. “Whatever your doubts, this is still a problem we were tasked to fix. And if it would be going even faster if you spent less time complaining about how ludicrous it is.”

“Ugh. Don't try and make it sound any better by sayin’ it applies, I know you just wanna fuckin’ pet her.” But perhaps taking his words seriously, Gavin didn't bring much else up, just rolled his eyes with his previous statement. “Fine. I'll stand right fuckin’ here and sulk.”

 _All_ the way over there?

Mindful not to smirk, Noah took care to look away before declaring the obvious: “Of course. …You chickenshit.”

Because what other language did Reed speak but vulgar?

Immediately, Gavin let out a wheeze that might have been a first attempt at words, before (undoubtedly) staring at him with wide eyes and trying again. “What - the fuck? The hell did you just say to me?”

Astonishing. Like it was the first time he had heard an RK900 swear or something. Time to reel the bait in a little more.

“You say you’re sulking. I’d say it’s because you’re afraid of getting closer.”

“Excuse me? That is a boldfaced fuckin’ _lie,_ and you know it! I ain't scared of that thing!” Evidently, Gavin had taken it by the sound of his footsteps coming closer. “You're just tryin’ to get a rise outta me.”

_Among other things…_

Reeling back, the OO150 gave a startled whine. The eye facing them went wide and round.

Still kneeling by the water’s edge, Noah glanced over, calculating just how close the man had marched. He was still out of arm’s reach, while some two feet from the dropoff.

Still within wing’s reach.

“Then if it’s not her, you’re afraid if the water. Is that it?”

“I ain't… I ain't afraid of water.” Sounding less confident with that, Gavin closed the gap some more, crossing his arms as he did so to alternate his glare between the water itself and Noah. “Don't mean shit, just because I wasn't close to it.”

Omitting one particular moment from his short term recollection, watching his partner unsuccessfully try to shove the animatronic back into its exhibit, Noah stood up.

“You’ve done virtually nothing but stand there and complain the entire time we’ve been here. Why else would you be hesitating so much?”

“Okay, asshole, the fuck do you want from me?” Raising his arms up in exasperation, Gavin rolled his eyes before scowling at him once more. “I ain't lookin’ to be psychoanalyzed tonight, thanks.”

 _What do_ I _want?_

He had one idea in mind. Hopefully it would prove harmless. There was enough evidence on display to suggest the OO models wouldn’t react aggressively. CyberLife’s animatronics were hardwired not to harm humans, and kept up to date with the latest failsafe patches to ensure they stayed that way.

So…

Reed didn’t see the wing lash out to sweep him over before he had hit the water with a spread-eagled splash.

——-

“Hmm. Help you. Are you sure about that?”

No, not anymore. Fucker just admitted his crime rather than dive in to try and undo it. Who knew what else the deviously-deceptive android might pull?

“ _Dude!_ What part of I can't fuckin’ - ” Not sure of what he should do to stop himself from sinking, Gavin tilted his chin up, legs kicking wildly in some imitation of swimming, or the closest he could get to it. “Swim! I don't - I can't fuckin’ keep my head above, do somethin’!”

In the immortal words of _Spaceballs_.

Stupid fucking computer birdbrain - what even made it seem like he would be able to? Reed had admitted to not ever being in a zoo, or going on vacation - why would he have ever gone to a pool, or a lake, or any other place that would force him to learn to swim?

Well… sure, he had been to pools and the likes, but it wasn't like anyone was gonna teach ten-year old or older Gavin how to swim. None of them cared enough to help him acquire the skill.

Splashing again, Gavin gasped as he pushed himself up more, glaring daggers at Noah the best he could while struggling. “If this is some fuckin’ type of - assassination attempt, it's a piss poor one, Noah! D-don't just stand there!”

Eyeline drifting aside, evidently catching notice of something new, beneath the churning surface, Noah’s self-satisfied half smile unbent itself.

“Stop kicking, Detective. …Honestly, take a deep breath, don’t move. The air in your lungs keeps you afloat. …And don’t move.”

“Don't - _what?_ The fuck is happenin’?” Trying to take his advice, despite the panic, Gavin did as he said, taking a deep breath and forcing his legs to still, instead of continue their losing battle. The salt stinging at his eyes made them involuntarily well up. “What - oh, don't you fuckin’ dare let them grab me, Noah.”

Because why else would he have to stay still, then the fucking android orcas in the very same pool he was knocked into?

He might as well have been tossed in with a couple of sharks. Most fish at least taste-tested their prey before swallowing it.

Continuing to look past him, expression gradually phasing from apprehensive to intrigued, the RK900 frowned. “Just don’t kick her in the face. You should be fine.”

Okay. That statement alone was worth trying to turn around for.

Noah never used ‘should’ unless he meant it.


	6. Chapter 6

What Detective Reed couldn’t hear amounted to a lot of chatter at a too-high frequency for his ear to detect. Upon hitting the water, both animatronics went off, signals pinging back and forth. The OO150 promptly circled away to give him space.

Conversely, the OO100 gingerly surfaced ten feet away, minus the loud explosive-sounding breath, and cautiously moved closer. It’s dorsal fin angled up into the air like a warning flag. Saltwater coursed off the rounded sides of its back, leaving streams of white bubbles atop the clear surface.

The signals it was emitting toward its smaller tankmate ceased entirely.

Suddenly, Noah didn’t feel so smug about putting his partner in such a precarious position.

“Don’t move” seemed to be the only advice that made logistic sense. The OO100 had likely never had an actual human being at its ‘mercy’ to investigate as it saw fit. And this, in fact, was the same one who pulled Connor in for an impromptu swimming lesson.

_OO100 #370 411 972. AKA “Chimo.” Registered to Detroit Zoo, Inc._

The design specs indicated it was sixteen-feet-long and, out of water, weighed in at five tons. That was a lot of mass to respect, especially if one found themselves treading water with it.

No wonder Gavin’s pulse was racing.

Floating to a stop, the cyberceta, Chimo, lifted her face above the waterline. At the forward ends of the white eyepatches, her blue eyes glowed almost neon.

_Eee?_

“Fucking - _shit._ Don't - ” Cutting himself off, Gavin looked back at him, clearly still half angry at being put in this situation and now half pleading to get him out of it. Not knowing how to swim was probably scaring him even more, with the fact he couldn't even try to make an escape. “Tell it to go away, Noah, tell it to leave me alone.”

It would have be cruel to smile, point and laugh. Blinking the irrational impulse aside, Noah forced his face to stay blank, calm. “Just - stay calm, Detective. She’s - curious, that’s all.”

_Eee._

Drifting just a touch closer, Chimo’s face dipped below the water again. The space directly behind Reed’s head seemed to be what was holding her attention.

A moment later, it became clear why. The deflated hood of Gavin’s jacket floated like a discarded rag.

Taking only a slight, dainty bite at it, Chimo grabbed on and lifted.

Stunned into silence, Gavin gaped as he was, effectively, held halfway above the water, jacket raised almost up over his head as he did so. He stopped his panicked thrashing. After a moment he visibly started away from her, best that he could. “The - fuck? What is she doin’? Lemme down!”

“Trying to make sure you don’t drown,” Noah blurted out, before catching the tail end of that comment. “I mean, it looks like it from here.”

Looking very much like a cat with a mouse, Chimo only ‘nodded’ in response to the escape attempt. The stretched fabric caught between her teeth held firm.

“Aw, fuck, okay, okay…” Taking a deep breath, Gavin seemed to attempt to calm down, one eye shut, the other open, as he stared at Chimo (as best he could, dangling under her chin). “Ugh… can she, like, bring me over to the side, then?”

_Ee-oo._

In answer or not, the OO100 nodded. With an unseen kick of her tail, she glided forward.

Unable to help a small, disbelieving laugh at the sight, Noah looked back, spotting the steel bucket of unused fish sitting by the door. A reward was in order. Even if the animatronic was only following harm-no-human protocol, it would do to reinforce the idea.

A sharp _puff_ of air and a splash drew his focus back to the pool.

Beelining toward the scene on an intercept course, just below the surface, the smaller OO150 closed in quickly. The tip of her smaller, rounder dorsal fin sliced through the wavelets like a dull knife.

Chimo, spotting their would-be company, dropped the hood from her mouth.

_Ee!_

“Fuck!” Splashing into the water, Gavin flailed again for a moment, then fought his way back above, glaring between the two android orcas as he followed the previous advice again, taking deep breaths. “Goddammit, _please_ , will you all stop this shit?”

Rearing up, a billow of white spray announcing her entrance, the OO150 managed to do as directed. She stopped without plowing forward and effectively running him over. Her eyes didn’t carry the same vivid blue glow, but they shone with a different sort of light.

One could almost read it as excitement.

_Eee-up, clickclickclick._

That said, she promptly spit a mouthful of water into Gavin’s face.

At that Noah, crouching down at the platform’s edge, couldn’t hope to contain a laugh. The unspoken translation behind it came through loud and clear:

 _Take_ that _, you bully._

“Eugh! Don't - do that!” Gavin almost raised his hand to wipe at his face, before giving up with the realization that all parts of him were already wet. He could only blink and squint against the salt. “Asshole - _fish_. Seriously, dude, get me out of here!”

_Eee!_

With her tirade not quite over, the OO150 edged forward, mouth open, teeth on display. They were small, compared to the larger animatronic’s, but still sharp.

Beside them, Chimo nosed her way in between. Grabbing ahold of Gavin’s waterlogged sleeve, just above the elbow, she pointedly steered him away from the smaller cyberceta.

Noah scoffed, fighting to contain any amusement and failing miserably. “They don’t appear to be finished with you yet.”

And neither were the zookeeping staff, going by the decided pack of any security alerts going off. Everything was being recorded.

Perhaps they were just as eager to see what happened next, short of graphic dismemberment.


	7. Chapter 7

——-

_Ten minutes later_

——-

“God - damn. Honestly! If I have to listen to _any_ more of this chirpin’ and squawking, I may as well stick my head under and end it now.”

“But - they’re communicating. Isn’t this what we wanted to happen?”

“Oh, sure. …Did you conveniently forget the fact I’m currently being - held _hostage_ \- by these _fish_?!”

_Eee!_

“Shut up! We don’t need to hear it from - ” Cut off by the water that closed over his head, momentarily tugged down by the ankle, Reed resurfaced with another indignant splutter. Grasping for the nearest available handhold - Chimo’s dorsal fin - he scowled as the OO150 spyhopped to drift up alongside them. “ _Damn_ it, _quit_ doin’ that. I’m not your chew toy.”

No. But the hem of his pant legs evidently were, same as the hoodie’s sleeves.

“Can't you tell them to stop?” Turning his frustrations to Noah, Gavin glared at him, hands still tightly wound around Chimo for dear life. But at least he had stopped trying to escape, instead opting to chide all of them, when he was allowed. “Fuckin’ - Aquaman of androids with that shit! Seriously, _help_ me!”

“I’m trying, Detective. I can’t help the fact they won’t listen yet.”

Seconding that comment, Chimo exhaled, low yet forcefully, with her head held just below the surface. The jet of air blew a fine mist of water droplets into the air, gently showering them all. It was clearly to the OO150’s delight, as she wheeled around to rear up and snap at the falling shower.

“...See?”

“Urgh… hey, hey! Come on. Fuckin’ - listen to him!” Despite obviously knowing how useless it was, Gavin shouted at the two android orcas, one hand waving around as if trying to literally grab their attention. “Nice of y'all to be buddy-buddy now, but how about you fuckin’ lemme go?”

Attention drawn by said waving hand, the smaller animatronic nudged, then grabbed onto the cuff of his sleeve again, tugging backwards on it like a dog with a chew rope.

Slippery as she was, his opposite grip on Chimo’s fin didn’t last long.

Noah, still crouched uselessly at the platform’s edge with a bucket of gel fish next to him, sighed and imitated something like a half-masked facepalm. The exasperation was finally starting to show.

But again, not like he could jump in and swim effectively with those wings. He wasn’t a gannet.

“Hey! What the - let go! Bring me to the fuckin’ edge!” Beginning to squirm again, Gavin looked to be barely managing to keep his head above water, exacerbated by his panicky movements. “Fuck this! Noah, seriously, this is some fuckin’ risky shit you're all pullin’!”

True. A human who drowned in an animatronic’s tank, after being pushed in by another android, would be pretty damning.

Shifting her grip, the OO150 gave one gentle, sideways shake on him before letting go, drifting alongside to roll over and stretch out. Bubbles rolled up the sides of her face. Both oval-shaped fins waved in the air like empty hands.

_Okay, I give up. Hold on if you want._

Chimo, blue eyes lifting above the surface, gave another disinterested _phew_ of air.

Looking over the scene he created with only some lingering dismay, Noah drummed his fingers against his arm. His LED was still wheeling, alternating between blue and yellow. “If I apologize to that effect, you think you could, too?”

“Woah, woah - _what?_ Apologize? The fuck did I do!” Even with his disgruntled cries, Gavin clung onto one of the smaller android orca’s offered flippers, using it for some leverage to keep himself above. “Oh, sorry for calling them fish, that what you want me to say? Dude! That's so - fuckin’ - dumb!”

Taking some apparent offense at that, Chimo bared her teeth in a wide ‘yawn’ before snapping them together with a resolute _chomp_. It sounded like a slam of iron against iron - low, impactful, and solid.

Reading the gesture, Noah looked a trifle uncertain once again. “You might want to reconsider that position, Detective. Her patience seems to be waning.”

Eyes wide at the sight of the teeth, Gavin shook it off after a second with a scoff, albeit quieter and with less attitude than before. “Fuckin’ hell… can't believe I'm bein’ threatened by a fucking robot fish. Okay, okay… ugh… I'm sorry? For… being pushed into your place? I didn't even do anything!”

 _Chomp_.

Immunized from blame, seemingly, Noah rolled his eyes at whatever high frequency feedback this attempt earned them. “...Try again.”

“Fine, fine! Argh, okay… I'm sorry, all right? Sorry for bein’... mean.”

More bubbles flew up to the surface, breaking with loud pops. Turning over in place, pulling her fin out of his hands in the process, the OO150 righted herself. Wavelets lapped at her raised chin, counterpointing how still and hyperfocused she had become.

_Eee?_

Translation: “Really?”

“Ugh… yes, really.” Even begrudgingly as it was, at least Gavin managed to sound apologetic and somewhat sincere, while not immediately worrying at the prospect of drowning for the first time in a quarter hour. “Sorry. Shouldn't have been that way.”

There was no poignant, thoughtful pause. Seemingly deciding that was satisfactory, the animatronic raised up to set her chin down atop his soaked shoulder, half leaning against him in an armless hug.

At least it was no sloppy kiss on the mouth - like any other fake whale might have tried for.

“Oh, godda - yes, _hello,_ I see you.” Shifting so that he was more diagonal, Gavin muttered to the android as he gripped one of her fins again for stability, inadvertently giving her a half hug back in the process. “You're fuckin’ - hard to miss.”

Whatever temptation there was to dunk him again, the OO150 refused. ‘Snuggling’ against his neck, she began purring with clicks. The LED adjacent to her closed eye flared blue before brightening to a telltale yellow.

Noah, somewhat uselessly, reported the obvious a moment later: “She forgives you.”

“Goddamn cat, that's what you shoulda been.” Steering them both back toward the landing Noah was on - or, best he could, still not able to swim - Gavin didn't make any moves to try and push her off just yet. He was quietly grateful for the assist. “Affectionate like Colby is. And _now_ you wanna let me get back on land now, huh?”

Shocker.


	8. Chapter 8

Light as a feather, or solid as a rock - aerolite technology came in handy when one was faced with a dripping-wet, very irate human attempting to throw you into a pool. And there wasn’t a thing Detective Reed could do to override such a mode, once enabled. It was like shoving on a concrete pillar, and expecting it to topple over.

Just to drive the point home, Noah stood only a few feet from the water’s edge, and suffered most of the following tirade in stoic, defined disinterest.

Chins resting on the edge, both Chimo and her smaller counterpart watched in rapt, unmoving silence. It was almost comical, how wide and blue both sets of their eyes were.

Busy shouting as he was, Gavin didn’t notice.

“So, yeah, maybe you weren't really tryin’ to fuckin’ drown me, but that doesn't change the fact that you almost  _ did!  _ I coulda died, you idiot! You think I want that on my fuckin’ gravestone, died from drownin’, or bein’ mauled to pieces by a fucking android orca, huh? Idiot! Are you even listening to me?” 

“Every word, Detective. I didn’t think it prudent to interrupt until you were finished.”

Yes, that was downright glib, and probably not the ideal salve to apply to any of Reed’s scorching words. But facing any aggressive mood with decided passivity was usually good for defusing the temper at work.

With the lapels of his jacket held prisoner in Gavin’s hands, not actively arguing back with him seemed like the calmest, non-threatening tactic to employ.

All he had to do was wait for the storm to blow over.

Glaring daggers at him, Gavin drew back for a moment, still holding onto him, before ramming back into the fight with both hands, and all the weight behind them, trying in vain to push him over. “Asshole! Stop it, you're  _ gettin _ ’ into that fucking pool! I ain't bein’ the only one who fell in, so stop - fuckin’ - not lettin’ me push you!” 

Joints locked, stance staggered just far enough to retain balance, it wasn’t even much of a fight to keep his posture. Sparing their aquatic audience an unimpressed glance, Noah frowned. “You know, the fact you’re standing here trying to impart such punishment upon me would indicate you didn’t fare that badly with your first swimming lesson.”

“Don't fuckin’  _ call  _ it that! I didn't see no goddamn - teacher, or fuckin’ lifeguard on duty, just a smug ass android!” One hand let go of him, before bracing itself back against his shoulder, trying in vain to continue to push him, without success. 

“Beside the point. You lived… to overreact as you are now. Was it really that awful?”

Somehow, it must have been. Just like a cat inexplicably dropped into a filled bathtub, Reed’s all-around-affronted behavior wasn’t that far off.

A cat might have sooner fled to try and dry itself off than attempt to retaliate, though. Instead, this one came back yowling and spitting it’s fury.

Typical.

“ _ Yes!  _ What part of ‘I can't fuckin’ swim’ didn’t you understand? That means I can't fuckin’ get myself to the goddamn edge, and I can barely keep my head up, asshole!” Punctuating his last word, Gavin reached up and pushed him by the shoulders as hard as he could. 

It was a valiant shove. Leaning back just far enough to take the strength out of it, Noah braced one foot directly upon the edge - so abruptly his shoe’s sole gave a squeak against the wet concrete.

Stretching one wing out to counterbalance, looking for all intents like a gymnast on the edge of a beam, he froze in place.

“For not being able to, you did a remarkable job of treading water, actually.”

“Shut the  _ fuck  _ up! Yeah, fuckin’ congratulations to  _ me _ , I didn't let myself drown! No thanks to you!” 

Abiding by the first order, Noah quieted down as directed.

The OO150, lingering by his foot as she was, clicked her teeth together and gave a hollow, soundless  _ puff _ of air, then sank down below the surface.

Chimo, on the other hand, didn’t take so kindly to the sound of his raised voice.

_ Fwsssh! _

A foamy splash of spit-up saltwater landed on Gavin’s already-drenched feet.

“Oh, my fuckin’ - okay. That's it.” Clenching his fists, Gavin took a step back from Noah, seemingly trying to keep the rest of his anger contained, as much as he could. “Did you make them talk, asshole? We finished here? Because I am fuckin’ done with this mess.” 

Seconding his words, seemingly, Chimo gave a stuttering chirp at that, rearing up far enough to lean into the platform and display her teeth.

_ Eee! _

It was a very sharp, curt noise. She sounded a mite outraged in her own right.

Popping up alongside her, the OO150 twirled around in place before submerging again. She seemed reluctant to become reinvolved with their situation just yet.

Sparing them another lingering glance, Noah folded his arms, wings pulling in flush against his back. They had gotten the apology they apparently desired. And if Detective Reed had no desire to continue participating in this case, he was welcome to leave.

Especially if he had nothing more useful to contribute to the matter.

“I didn’t ‘make’ them do anything. You might say they can simply agree you’ve been a most ungracious visitor in their exhibit, Detective.”

“The fuck? You're the one who pushed me in! I fuckin’ apologized, even! What, am I not allowed to be mad about this whole fuckin’ ordeal?!” Gavin raged at him, glaring with as much anger as he had - which was a formidable amount, to be fair. “You don't get to just fuckin’ laugh at me over somethin’ like this! I ain't lettin’ that happen again!” 

_ ‘Again’, is it? _

Mindful to keep his expression blank, Noah blinked a slow, thoughtful blink. Current investigations aside, this was one more intriguing piece of (personal) puzzle he had managed to unearth. Those were always worth enduring a few unpleasantries for.

“And by that you mean, what, exactly?”

He would worry about making up for his rude discovery methods later.

Finally, some of the rage seemed to drain from Gavin’s voice. “Urgh… fuck, man. Okay, I get that it wasn't your point, but I've been fuckin’ humiliated before, dude, and it ain't fun. I would sorta fuckin’  _ love  _ if you didn't do that shit ever again.”

“...Ever?” Blinking again, Noah shook his head. “Your attitude was stalling our progress. You’ve instructed me to do such counterproductive things as hit you in the event you make a detrimental decision.”

“That's different! I can fuckin’ take a hit that I need. I don't need to be humiliated about it, okay? I can't take that shit. It's like… like when I was back in the academy. They fuckin’ tricked me into thinkin’ a janitor android was a burglar. Made me try and stop him… to humiliate me in front of everyone in the dorm.” Dropping to a grumble, Gavin looked down, kicking at the tiny concrete chunks scattered on the ground. In his soaked clothes, he almost looked appropriately pitiful - almost. “I don’t need any kind of unpleasant reminders from you, got it?”

Well. Had he known this prior to today, perhaps he wouldn’t have gone as far as he did.

Rather than say as much, Noah filed that comment away for later reference. “Understood. Then I’m sorry for the distress we caused you.”

That was as much of an apology as he needed to give.

Bad memories aside, however, it didn’t completely absolve Reed of his rude behavior.

Time to settle that debt before they departed.


	9. Chapter 9

The first step in the peacemaking process involved returning some (inadvertently) stolen property. For a few minutes, it was unclear just what the OO150 was doing, with nothing but a rippling silhouette to be seen by. Diving deep, she eventually resurfaced in the far side of the pool. There, a small, floating, plastic-wrapped box was bobbing against the wall. Grabbing it delicately between her teeth, the animatronic coasted back over to present the find.

Recognizing what they were, Noah raised an eyebrow.

“Lucky thing you hadn’t opened those yet, Detective.”

“Urgh… thanks, I guess.” Confident enough with the knowledge he wouldn't be pushed in again, Gavin inched his way over to the edge of the pool, one hand stretched out reluctantly to take the pack. “I'm still just gonna have to fuckin’ throw them away, though.” 

True. They were by no means waterproof.

Supervising the exchange, the same as Chimo seemed to be from her side of the waterline, Noah opted to sit down, legs crossed. He had no intention of going anywhere just yet.

“She found something else, besides.”

Chirping an affirmative to that effect, the smaller orca gaped, revealing a rectangular, touch-screen device lying atop her tongue.

“Aw, shit. Uh… thanks for that as well.” Grimacing just a tad, Gavin reached in for it, quickly snatching it away. Not that there was much difference between saltwater and whale drool (if there was such a thing), but just reaching between those teeth had to be unnerving. “Oh, my fuckin’ - eugh. Don't fuckin’ tell me I'm gonna need a new phone, already.” 

“With apologies, then.” Noah tried to soften the blow of the inevitably-bad news: “I’ve already scanned it. CyberLife will reimburse you the cost of a new one.”

Not looking particularly proud of herself for it, the OO150 closed her mouth and gave a huffy sniff, propping her chin on the concrete again.

_ Sorry, bub, _ it seemed to say.

“Fine, fine. If I don't have to pay for it, whatever.” Eyeing the android orca again, after pocketing his ‘drowned’ phone, Gavin put his hands up in some kind of mock surrender. “Thanks. Least I got it fuckin’ back.” 

It wasn’t as though all the data previously held by it wasn’t backed up in the nearest server cloud.

“Manners are a start.” Pulling the mostly-full bucket up between them, laden down as it was with thirium fish, Noah grabbed one of the smaller morsels up to offer. “But if you could hand this to her, she’ll actually know your appreciation.”

Eyes quirking over at the sight of it, their former ‘suspect’ gave another chirp, sitting up to bite eagerly at the air.

“What? No! It ain't that I'm not fucking - appreciative, but that is way too fuckin’ gross!” Taking a step back, Gavin frowned at the sight of the fish, shaking his head. “Nah. Blue snot fish. That shit is nasty looking, I ain't touching it.” 

Technically it was an unpleasant sight. Considering thirium was basically android lifeblood, any ‘sustenance’ made from it had some disturbing parallels. And these false fish did leave the hands rather inky blue and sullied.

Whining at his refusal, begging just like any puppy, the OO150 drew back. Kicking her tail, she made one precise hop up onto the platform, standing high on her fins with mouth yawning wide.

“It’s no more slimy than handling a wet bar of soap, Detective,” Noah explained, with more of the same exaggerated flair, arm still outstretched. “Unless - I’m to infer from your lack of shaving, and changing your clothes, you have… an  _ aversion _ to getting clean - ”

“Fucker, that's not true! Gimme that, you fuckin’ asshole.” Sounding offended, Gavin grabbed the fish from the outstretched hand, huffing as he did so. “You've got too much fuckin’ mouth, how the hell do I shut that off?” 

Without waiting for an answer, he threw the fish to her, still grimacing as he did so, trying to get it over with as quick as possible. The squishy, slippery texture went sliding from between his fingers before he barely got a grip.

Snagging it between her teeth, the OO150 bit deep, with the floppy tail sticking from the side of her mouth. Blueberry-hued juice spurted out to dribble down her face.

Half smirking, quietly pleased with the result, Noah dropped the subject before he talked them right into a new bout of bickering. “It isn’t a slime eel. You’ll survive.”

“Yeah, yeah. Doesn't mean it's fuckin’ nice to touch.”

“Maybe not. But she appreciates it. See?”

Hauled out just far enough to reach his shoes, the OO150 dropped her head, resting her chin atop his toes. In the same breath, she exhaled one loud  _ whoosh _ , the release of compressed air ruffling at his clothes and hair in the process. The fishtail stayed clenched between her lips.

Chimo, passively waiting her turn, mimicked the soundless blow and turned sideways, mouth parting just enough to ‘grin’ at them.

“I didn’t think getting this close would have solved anything, initially. But they both seem rather tame now, compared to what they were acting like earlier.”

“Fuckin’ finally. They one big family now?” Gesturing to them, Gavin rolled his eyes as he voiced said sarcastic question. “We done with this nonsense?” 

Saving the ‘best’ news for last, Noah spared that a scoff.

“Nearly. The one eyeballing you now needs a name. Once that’s done, we can consider the matter closed, and the rest of the pod introductions can be managed by the zoo staff.”

“A name? Fuck, you do that, dude. I dunno what the fuck a good name for an android  _ orca  _ would be.” Shrugging, Gavin stepped even further away from the edge, clearly ready to just head out. 

Dislodging his foot from underneath her chin, the smaller cyberceta in question gave a dispirited whine, but made no move to try and follow.

Sparing a moment to decrypt the wordless signals between them, Noah bent the truth a fraction: “She thinks you do.”

“Oh, my God. Fuck, uh… what's a fuckin’ good name? Like fuckin’... Bubbles, or some such?”

“Please. It can’t be that difficult. How did you end up naming Colby?”

“How do you think?” Putting his hands up in exasperation, Gavin shook his head at the question. “I don't fuckin’ know, probably heard it on the television! What's so fuckin’ wrong with Bubbles?” 

Out of context, it sounded appropriately ludicrous.

_ Eee! _ Lunging forward, spurred by the volume, if not the comment itself, the OO150 dropped the fishtail to bite at Reed’s ankle.

Thankfully there was enough slack in the pant leg, she managed to grab the hem.

Noah scoffed again. “I never said it was a bad choice, Detective.”


	10. Chapter 10

_ ——- _

_ Some time later _

_ ——- _

“Ha! Look at that. Thought you escaped gettin’ wet, did you, Reed?”

So said patrolman (with a deathwish) Dane Harris, the first soul brave enough to speak after the water balloon fell from on high to go  _ splat _ all over Gavin Reed’s head and shoulders. The splash itself stayed limited to the immediate vicinity of the homicide detective’s chair and desk. Localized as the damage was, there was only one possible culprit - hanging out directly above said desk.

And they needed a talking-to.

Stat.

“You, shut the fuck up, get lost - in that order.” Directing the words toward Harris’ dumb, grinning face, Gavin immediately stood up from his desk, pointing a finger up at Noah, poised on his perch as the android still was, and not doing a thing to mask it. “And  _ you -  _ the fuck? Come down here, you fucker!” 

Thankfully, both of them abided by those commands without question. Harris let his partner, Pete McGreev, steer him past the scene before he could make any more regrettable comments. Once they had passed by, Noah promptly swung down to land in the space between the cubicles.

“Done. Anything else we can do for you, Detective?”

“Uh, yeah. How about a fuckin’ explanation, about why you decided to drop - a fuckin’ water balloon on me, out of nowhere? You got any goddamn answers to that?” Gesturing to his wet shirt and upper body, he couldn't help but also feel a bit fucking confused as to just why this spectacle was warranted. Besides the usual kind of fury, that was the only thing keeping him from out-and-out punching his partner.

Wisely, the rest of the bullpen had gone back to its business. Phone calls were picked back up. Typing resumed. The dispatch board cycled through its various windows, heedless as ever of the chatter or attentions focused on it.

Noah paid it all no focus whatsoever. Wiping his hands together, presumably to dry them of any excess moisture, he shrugged. “Oh, I have answers. Just none you may be interested in hearing.”

_ Again _ with the mouthy mode.

(For once, Gavin did some research. He had been over the instruction manual cover to cover. There wasn’t a built-in off switch for it, sad to say.)

“Oh, yeah? I'll be the fuckin’ judge of that, wiseass. Tell me, now.” 

“You needed a reminder.” Letting that cryptic reply simmer for only a few gravid seconds, Noah shook his head. “Our case at the zoo - leaving the way we did, it seems like the lesson hasn’t quite sunk in for you yet. So… I’ve improvised.”

And just what was that supposed to mean? This was just the first salvo in a war to come?

“Uh… the fuck? What lesson are you talkin’ about?” What had been oh-so-important about that circus act of a case, besides him being knocked into the pool, bandied around like a beach ball, and then subsequently naming Bubbles per her demand? Talking that legless, eight-foot-long terrier into letting him go had been another hour-long struggle. “I apologized to them  _ multiple  _ fuckin’ times, if that's what this is about!” 

Eyes narrowing, Noah’s LED blinked - once, then twice, staying dark a moment longer than Reed could ever remember seeing it go.

As the awkward silence went on a moment too long, the android tilted his head. “And? …Are you forgetting someone?”

“Uh… what, do you want me to apologize to you?” Brows furrowed, Gavin tried to think of just what the fuck he was exactly apologizing for, yet again. “Dude. You're the one who threw  _ me  _ into the pool.” 

“Yes. After offering you multiple opportunities to leave and/or contribute to the work I was attempting to do,” Noah explained, tersely and without raising his voice so much as a decibel. “The case was not a write-off from the start. But the manner in which you handled it made matters all the more convoluted.”

“Ugh… it was a case about fuckin’ android orcas not gettin’ along.” Gavin dropped that line of reasoning as soon as he said it, though. Even if it was uncomfortable to admit, Noah was right - they were assigned the case, weird or not. He hadn't exactly been the easiest person to work with, be it that case or any others. And in spite of all his human counterpart’s moaning and dragging his feet, the RK900 cleared it from their backlog. “Fine, fine. Okay. I'm sorry I made it fuckin’ difficult or some shit.” 

“Thank you. Ergo, one last water balloon seemed like fair payback. I just hope you mean what you say, because in the event you don’t…” Trailing off, his partner’s eyes wandered upward before refocusing on him, a devious gesture if ever there was one. “As I said, one harmless reminder here or there ought not to hurt… too much.”

Harmless.

Sure. If one didn’t count all the water on his desk and the shredded bits of rubber lying about, balloons were a perfectly acceptable form of ammo.

“Asshole. At least to do it when I don't have paperwork on my fuckin’ desk, then, huh?” 

“No promises there.” With a haughty-sounding huff not unlike that of the aquatic malcontents back at the zoo, Noah reached over to pluck one such piece of rubber off Gavin’s shoulder. Tossing it into the wastebasket below the desk, he circled around to begin picking up the rest of the scraps. “But I will make a point to double-check there are copies of whatever files you may be pouring over.”

How considerate.

“Eh, fine. I guess - I can take that.” Shrugging, Gavin took a step back to evade Noah's hands. Sure, he was the one who dropped the balloon, but that didn't mean Gavin couldn't clean himself or the desk up. Especially when the android did actually have a reason for throwing it besides being a novice prankster. “...Fuck. Look, I am actually sorry, man. Shouldn't fuck up the cases before they’ve begun and all that shit. But that one - it was weird from the start.” 

“Unorthodox, yes.” Collecting the shreds in one hand, Noah paused at noticing the second set that reached over to start picking. Sidelong, he glanced at his partner before resuming the job. “They’re your cases first, Detective. I wouldn’t have insisted so much if I didn’t think we could have solved it. One more closed matter for your clearance rate never hurts.”

“Yeah, yeah. Doesn't automatically give me the right to be an asshole, I guess.” Rolling his eyes, as it only befit his sarcastic conclusion, Gavin shuffled to the side. If Bird Boy was gonna insist on cleaning up, he wasn't gonna get in the way of that task. “But they're  _ our _ cases. Stop fuckin’ saying they ain't.”

That was how partnerships worked. No one half was meant to be ahead of the other. They could share the blame just as much as brag over any credit.

Easy enough.

So long as they were speaking the same language.

Noah just needed a few more lessons, the same as Bubbles only needed a pat on the nose to assure her they would visit again sometime.

State-of-the-art pains, the both of them. But not so bad once the bugs were worked out.


End file.
